Community is Messy
We long for deep connections and loving relationships with our most valued friends and family, and then it happens. We lose our temper, they reveal an ugly truth, someone speaks poorly of us because they only heard part of the story … because of these moments and others like it, our community fractures, and we wonder if it is even worth trying.
Like many, these situations have been part of my story since I was a little girl. When I was younger, when pain like this came my way, I dug deeper within myself to protect myself from the pain. Yet, this is not the way of Christ’s example. In recent years, I’ve prayed a simple prayer: “Lord, let me weep with you.” And guess what? I’ve found a deep and beautiful community that’s also full of sorrow and pain. I’ve learned to see the beauty and need of both.
Living with Messy People
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
It’s a pretty straightforward idea, but it has a few assumptions behind it.
- First, we’ll all have our own burdens to carry. And guess what? There are people in our lives who are also carrying heavy loads.
- Second, the law of Christ has something to do with sharing our burdens. It’s not just about taking care of ourselves; it’s about taking care of others.
- Third, we have a responsibility to Christ to bear others’ burdens. It’s not just a suggestion; it’s a command.
As I write this post, there are three church members (including my own pastor) in the hospital and one who just gave birth to a child in her home. There are multiple physically impaired people in my church. Blind, wheelchair-bound, immobile, home-bound, chronically ill, some have severe allergies to common items, and many other issues. There are broken homes – children who will never talk to their parents, kids who come without their parents, widows, and widowers – hurting hearts fill these chairs. There are burdens in my church, like in your church as well. We live with them. What makes the difference is what we do with these burdens.
To Weep, To Rejoice
Our relationship to the church can sometimes feel like a heavy burden. Hurt can be caused so quickly, it becomes hard for us to know what to do. We lose sight of what there is to value and love about it. We need a Manasseh – “God has made me to forget my toils.”(Genesis 41:50-51) We need a fresh perspective to see the church we love as the church we love.
I was at this point in my own life. I had felt betrayed and hurt by the church I loved, not knowing what to do. I got to the preverbal point of thinking a different church would be a better fit for me. I wanted to run from what hurt, but God didn’t let me. Even in all the messiness, I was still fulfilling my purpose, and part of that purpose was in the middle of the messiness. So I stayed, I worked through the hurt, I forgave, and I asked God for my Manasseh. It wasn’t a change of scenery for me, but a change of perspective. I saw what was in front of me differently and began to appreciate it.
FED: Fellowship, Evangelism, Discipleship
FED was an idea that I developed out of observation of what makes a good church function. It’s about carrying out Christ’s law and how we can make a difference in our communities. Just like your church, mine has its strengths and areas where we can improve. The goal is to allow these principles of community to affect and change how you interact with your community of faith to make a difference in your life, and theirs.
- Fellowship – our relationship with each other. We encourage, challenge, and support one another.
- Evangelism – our relationship with people outside our church, especially those who have questions.
- Discipleship – our relationship with people inside our church, especially those who have questions.
At face value, these words do not seem to denote a strong impact on people. They seem to be cold, surface, Christian clichés that hold no real power or hope. We rarely see their purpose to be front and center in our lives. We think, “I’ve read a few verses in my Bible, showed up to church, and I say I’m a Christian to my clients, so what more am I missing?” The “more” is a deeper relationship with God that can only come from a deeper relationship with others: Christians we like, Christians we don’t, and those entirely outside of our faith.
I’ll be teaching FED in a breakout session in the Biblical Studies track at The Well Conference, June 5th-7th. After coming to this session, I hope you will have a different perspective on the concept of community. I want you to be refreshed and empowered to grow with your community. To love the messy and beautiful of your church.
Come to Well. Even if you don’t come to THIS breakout session, I know you will be deeply impacted by The Well community— REAL COMMUNITY. The love and care found at The Well is unlike most conferences and truly an experience that you don’t want to miss! See you there!
